(Journal Entry, Tuesday April 24th, 2012)
Just got home from Peru…
This past month has been a month of gathering. I’ve gathered concepts and advice, experiences, messages, contacts, ideas, objects, interests, lessons, memories, realizations, thoughts, and inquiries. Now I’m looking at them in a stack, but in no particular order or reasoning. I get to spend the rest of my life now sorting them all out. Organizing, pondering, practicing. Re-arranging, re-defining, re-conditioning. Learning every day a little more about my selves, and the worlds my selves live amongst. I’m filled with an almost overwhelming sense of gratitude about my life. Everyone in my life, the activities I’m so luckily afforded, the things that grow around me. The abundant nature of the nature that surrounds me every day. I’m really the luckiest person I know. Every time I think about awesome people in my life, I’m so relieved that I get to spend more time with them! Like dying is so remorseful because all of your hang-out sessions are now done….but the opposite of that feeling. “I’m not dead! WE GET TO HANG OUT AGAIN!! And not just once more….all the time! We have the rest of this lifetime together!” Each time I think about the possibilities before me, I’m excited how I get to just reach out and grasp them. These simple recognitions were perhaps the will of the Plant Teacher all along. I spent a week participating in those ceremonies expecting this big reveal about myself, and when it never came, I cursed the process. Now I understand that the lesson is perhaps one learned over whole lifetimes, beginning with gratitude and a kick in my own ass. It sounds terribly cliche’d, but I really feel like tomorrow is the first day I’ll begin with organizing all of this awesome loot I’ve gathered. Like it is the first day of the rest of my life.
Over the course of our month in Peru, I wrote a pretty extensive account in a journal. I’m willing to loan it out to friends who are interested in reading it in it’s entirety. That said, I do plan to include excerpts on this ‘ere blog. It’s always a measurement of time vs. willingness/need to make blog posts. Also, I’m not sure anyone actually reads my blog to begin with, so there’s that…(heh heh?)